Sunday, February 29, 2004

ahh, take notice of the date.

the day february 29th happens only once every four years. isn't that strange? so happy leap year, everyone! and, if that means having celebatory leap frog sessions with your friends, by all means, go for it! because, we all know that today was one of the most glorious days we have had in a while (if you forget all about yesterday).

also, would it be terribly tragic if you were born on february 29th? i recall having this conversation with my mom when i was a child, when we learned about leap year in school. it was one of those conversations that you could only have with a parent and not with your teacher because there was some sort of moral message that was being given. i was pretty young then so i have basically forgotten all the important stuff but i am sure i learned that day that it didn't really matter what day you were born because you would still celebrate your birthday and get presents (the most important part of having a birthday when you are kid, of course) and that when february 29th came around, it was even more special. i know a girl whose brother was born on feb. 29th. i can only wonder what that was like for him, if he felt left out or if he liked it like that. because, i think it would be pretty damn cool to have this special birthday that only a few would have. i would start a club and send out birthday cards to all the members of this elite group of leap year babies. i would it the BOTLY club, the babies of the leap year club. or, the my birthday is better than your birthday club. i dunno. actually, some investigating has shown me that there is an international leap year babies meetup day and a leapzine and an honor society for leap year babies!

ack! nearly 7:30pm. gotta run!

(leaping out of my chair, into the hallway and making a mad leaping dash for the exit)

this is for you, nishi

the place: the black cat in d.c.
the mission: making out

after scanning the room after virginia's set and not seeing any possible contenders (save for the boys who would come with a gaggle of girls), morgan, max and i headed into the red room to look for marlowe, and also, to look for cute boys. it appeared to be a no-go and so we sat down at the table near the ms. pacman and the lord of the rings pinball machine. i took notice of a boy playing pinball and could tell he was good. (perfect! i thought to myself. easy target...) BUT! as soon as i got over there, he started doing terribly!!! and so, i just had to walk away from that one and save his pinball integrity.

as i walked back to the table, i saw morgan and max talking to a boy. (hmm, i thought to myself. interesting...) and he was asking to take my seat but saw that i had come back. "of course you can have my chair!" i say. "please, sit down and join us!" and so, the mission began. we started to get to know each other a litle bit. something about fruit loops?! i don't know. and then we learned that he and his friend were friends with a buddy of mine who is now in san fran. (o0o! i thought to myself...what a coincidence! good angle...) and so we talked a bit more, but this is probably where i should enter the art of flirting. intense eye contact. smiling... he sat in the chair, i crouched down next to him with one hand on his leg. we started talking into each other's ear, unnecessarily i might add. we talked so close to each other, i could smell his breath was minty. he asked for a cigarette and i lit it. when he dropped his cigarette, i didn't hesitate to give him another. and i lit it again. this chirade continued for a bit more and by then, marlowe had returned and the clock was ticking. if it wasn't for max and morgan, all might have been lost. morgan and max: "just makeout already!" ... "well, it looks like my friends want us to make out," i say. "okay, let's do it," he says. and that was that. it was good and we probably kissed almost as much as we talked, right there at the table. the girls said it looked pretty hot. i'm sure it did. i enjoyed it - except he needed to shave... and then we had to go and that was the end of that.

although it doesn't sound like exceptionally good flirting, the girls said that they just watched me move in and were amazed by my prowess. it is difficult to speak of such things, especially when you aren't very much aware of what you are doing, but also, i never really think of myself as being good at flirting. although, people have told me recently that i am a big flirt. and here i have always thought that i needed to work on this skill.... i guess not.

Saturday, February 28, 2004

my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard
i know i am a little late on the kelis thing, but i think i need to get a copy of her album. after last night, i haven't been able to get that song out of my head. OH, and speaking of albums, i picked up a used copy of pj harvey's dry and it just so happens that it was SIGNED and a ticket stub from a 1992 concert was left in the back!!! and i got it for 7.99! am i a lucky dog or what?! holy crap, what did i do to deserve this great find??

in other news, i got a copy of the monologue that faith had written about me. refer to this post for more info. some key points that she included was:
- photography (which i do)
- traveling to india (love traveling, never been to india, but was in brazil over the summer and ghana last winter)
- staying up late and helping friends with relationship problems (yes and yes)
- a sunny disposition (which i have from time to time)

okay, now it is time for me to take a nap. ringer is off, there is a note on the door and i am ready to pass out and get up and get work done.

le fin.

feeling mischievous
tee hee. just did something a little naughty. anyway, did a bit of the hip hop a you dont stop the rock it to the bang bang boogie say up jumped the boogie to the rhythm of the boogie the beat (oh, sugarhill gang. remember when you played at goucher 2 years ago?) err, i mean, i went to virginia's awesome hip hop dj'ing set and danced so much and so hard that i found myself taking breaks because i kept giving myself cramps and pains in my side. what a workout! and that was before kanye west came on! damn, girl! you know how to make the people move!! woo boy.

Friday, February 27, 2004

can i have your attention, please?
i think it is high time that i write a haiku, which i haven't done in a while. it would be great if everyone would write one too! there is nothing, and i mean nothing, better than haikuwriting. just 5-7-5. that's all it takes, people. 5-7-5.
warning: cheesy dream haikus ahead. danger! danger! high voltage! when i haiku. when i'm sleepy!

the cold air of night
and the warmth of my blanket
create lovely dreams

the moment i wake
i've forgotten everything
- lost reality

perhaps tomorrow
when morning light shines brightly
i will remember

the dreams have been lost
never to be found again
tho fragments appear

pieces mean nothing
please dream gods, help me tonight!
dreams for my dream group

man...i guess i am more anxious about not remembering my dreams than i thought. after a while, it felt nice to write haikus expressing some frustration. haikus are the best ever! yes yes yes!'s late enough, i have to be up and ready to drive home tomorrow for my dentist appointment (!).

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

there's a mouse in the house
last night while tami was passed out in my bed, russell sat next to me on the flip'n'fuck, and helena sat in the big green chair, i spied a little baby mouse squeeze himself out from behind my desk. chocolate brown mouse then fell to the floor and scurried away. "oh, hey guys! there's a mouse!" and with that, helena promptly left. it kind of warmed my heart that there will be this little creature in my room to keep my company, even though i knew i would be sleeping on the floor. just as long as he remembered that my sheets were mine and the corners and edges of the room were his.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

blog alerts!
2 more blogs have been added!

Monday, February 23, 2004

good morning!
around 4:30/5:00am this morning, i was woken by my upstairs neighbor (who lives directly above me and is the former occupant of this room). she comes walking into my room, wakes me from my slumber and as i open my eyes and watch her, she sort of spins around in confusion and i just say, "christina....where's your shirt?" for the girl is naked from the waist up, with one arm covering her chest. and she replies, "would you like me to turn your light off for you?" and i just say, "yeah, thanks."

so, when i woke up this morning, i thought to myself, did that really happen? or was it a dream? so i promptly march upstairs, knock on her door, and as soon as she opens the door it's, "chris? umm, did you come to my room this morning? because i think i may have dreamt that you....." and before i can finish she says, "OH GOD! yes, i don't know what happened or how i got there!" we spent the morning lounging in her room, and me asking her questions and her replying, "i can't remember!" and lauren came in and i listened to them talk about the night and the awesomeness of their party and was happy that we could all laugh about the silly incident. and it was also revealed that there is a possibility that she was topless in the residential quad. i still would like to know how that happened exactly. i bet she would like to know too.

Sunday, February 22, 2004

holy crap!
hey listen here. i am not one to toot my own horn, but seriously...i got 383 hits yesterday, which is just insane. it's all due to that website that shall never be named again. which is why i have changed the name of my blog. i just need to get away from the whole s e c r e t thing for a while. it's just too much! i mean, look at my tagboard. who are these people?? i was even called a loser!! and this business with people leaving tags on my board as secrets (crushes, sex, love, etc.) is just so funny. on one hand, i love that there are these teens that are hitting my blog because of this website and then find themselves leaving these weird ass messages. it's a meeting place, hence, the "it's like a bathroom wall," which actually would be a great blog idea in general. * a place to air out your dirty laundry * those with secrets need only apply. but, also, i wonder, "am i corrupting kids??" i mean, i want to talk about the wonderful and hot ass night i had with nishi and jeffery at the red maple but i feel some sort of social responsibility to refrain from talking about any drinking or making out or whatever. but, seriously, if you happen to find yourself at the red maple, find ashira who may just be the sweetest, sexiest, cutest bartender ever. she made us the most amazing drinks like the mango martini with real mango puree (!!! - helena - !!!) and shots of strawberry stoli and god knows what else... mmmmm, so good. wait, i guess i am over trying to censor myself. it's just not going to happen. c'est la vie de l'internet. oui? c'est vrai. seriously, i need to get over this because it's not like the young'ns aren't hip to what is happening out there. man - am i going to get blasted for this post??? whatever, i need to go and get some rest. i'm running on 4 hours of sleep from last night (and that's including the nap i took!) and i need to get mad amounts of work done today to prepare for tami's arrival on monday. yes. awesome. more fun to come.

Saturday, February 21, 2004

ottobar night, underground, britpop, hipsters, modsters and scenesters
the night started out late, unfortunately. running around, trying to get things done, getting stuck on 83 and 695, spending time in darkroom, then stimson, then back to darkroom. it is all my fault that nishi wasn't able to come out. it is most unfortunate, and i apologize to everyone at the ottobar for my lack of focus that they weren't able to bask in the glory that is nashira, "the one who brings good tidings."

alas, brit pop was fun, for the most part. like 90% fun. i danced and danced and closed my eyes and let the music move me, the only way that i can truly enjoy the moment. it was morgan's birthday and i was so happy for her that she was able to have such an awesome night. but i couldn't help but step back for a moment and watch the crowd and take in what was happening around me. at one particular point, some song came on (which i can't remember the name of) and i knew it because i had heard it a few months ago when i was at franklin mills in philadelphia and wandered into a sketcher's store while my mom looked at calanders. and at the sketcher's store they played this song along with the music video. i thought, "oh what a neat song. so weird that they are playing it here." a few weeks later, i was wandering in nordstrom's and they too were playing the music video. and then today, at target, they played the music video also! and, tonight, while this song was playing, everyone turned into these funny modsters, bopping along, moving as if they were all having seizures and i was like, "whoa." throughout the night, i smiled at everyone and enjoyed every little moment and loved watching people having a good time. but, i couldn't help but think how funny it was that everyone thought they were so awesome and amazing to this silly song that was everywhere. this is so judgmental of me to think this, and i am just being honest here because that is the place where i am at now. y'know? perhaps it goes back to the good old days in middle school when i was listening to alternative music before it was "alternative" and everyone thought that my friend josh and i were so weird because we weren't into whatever the hell other people were listening to. which, now, i would gladly dance to because i am over that period in my life.

what am i trying to say here? about, happy birthday morgan! and it was so great the jess was able to come out! and i love hipsters! hahaha. yup, that is what i am trying to say. it's actually true, i do love hipsters. especially that guy in the red shirt that was shaking it so hard with his super low low rise pants and hot ass belt that became unbuckled so that his pants dropped and his hot ass was exposed for all to see and enjoy as he shook it like a polaroid picture. shake it. sh sh shake it.

Friday, February 20, 2004

dear world,
i have discovered that nothing beats putting on nice 80's music in the vein of tears for fears, new order, u2, elvis costello, etc. "welcome to your life. there's no turning back..." is just pure genious. genious i say. nothing warms my heart the way this music does. which is why i will be going to the ottobar tonight. yes. it is happening. i am not concerned with looking hot, or how my hair will be, what i will wear, or even makeup. i am there to dance. it is about business and nothing else, and if you didn't know, i am in the dancing business. so, world, put your dancing shoes on, and no matter where you are, get down tonight. i say, "get down tonight."

can i get a hell yeah?

Thursday, February 19, 2004

oh god, help me!
or, at least virginia. i was trying to change my template. i am sick of looking at the same thing all the time. i am sick of the font and the font size and everything about this stupid blog...this stupid template. blah! and i have tried to use this really awesome one that i found on blogskins but i had to do some tweaking and nothing was working out right. oh virginia, sweet virginia. how do you do it? eek.

come here, blog. i want to give you a hug
lately, i have been in a very huggy mood. and the kind of hugs that you don't want to let go. the kind of hugs where you find your head in the perfect spot and let it linger perhaps a little too long, where you could just fall asleep, it feels that good. those are the hugs that i love. those are the hugs that i want to give to others. to be so close to your friends that you smell their scent and kiss them in nice spots. for those that i haven't been able to hug like that, namely nishi because she isn't here, i want to send out a little hug their way. there is nothing better than a nice big bear hug. and so, i say - **hug** on.

also, nishi, my love, i am missing you hard. i am missing you like the sand in a gimmicky souvenir gift misses the sea. i hope i see you this weekend. britpop, perhaps? you know you want to!

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Faith just stepped into my room...
along with Brooke, who was actually the bringer of Faith.

"Hi Jaime! This is Faith," says Brooke.
"Hey Faith..." I say, feeling dumbfounded and confused. I cradle the telephone in one hand, "Hold on, Jill. There are some people here."
"What's going on, guys?"
Brooke begins, "Well, Faith wrote a story about you. With dialogue! You are in Faith's story!!"
"I'm sorry?" Must be some kind of joke or game, I think to myself.
"Well, you see, Faith and I are in the same creative writing class and we had to write a story about someone we don't know but see around and Faith wrote about you!"
"You're kidding!"
"No, actually, it's true. I saw Brooke sitting with you at dinner and told her that you were the one that was in my story."
"Oh my goodness! Come here, Faith! Give me a hug!!"

it's a funny thing. you go through the motions, day after day, doing your thing, doing the same things, your routine, thinking that no one notices you. you see your friends, go to class, hide out in your room. and often i wonder, am i just another person? blending in with the scenery. do i matter or make an impression on those that i don't talk to? and, then one day, you learn that you do. you are more than yourself, or the friend, or the daughter, or even the stranger. we all enter each other's consciousness on some level. we all make impressions, good or bad, it doesn't matter. but, we all matter, in the end. we are all here to contribute to the greater perception of society as a whole. little specks of humanity that are magnified by each other, by the friend, the mother, the teacher, and of course, the stranger. but it's the stranger that intrigues me most. i hugged the stranger tonight, and her name was Faith.

sleep, not yet
not yet asleep. i should have been though. my mind and soul are in that bed of mine, but i am not, the i being my physical self. but, really, i am asleep, like most people in life anyway. most people live their life as if in a constant state of sleep. they are not awake...they are not aware. even myself, i am asleep - i am not aware. to confuse the matter, norm, prof of my psychology of dreaming class, told us to live our lives as if we were dreaming. he told us - "tell yourself that this is all a dream." oh yes, i am dreaming right now. i forgot. i really am asleep.

what did i want to blog about? what was it now? i have forgotten already. like how i forget all of my dreams. what was that little bit of info that i wanted to share with the world. i am typing with closed eyes. it is amazing that one can do this and type so swiftly...and so accurately. not a mistake yet, i see with one eye open, peaking through. no mistakes yet. yet. not yet.

goodbye. good night. good riddance. and sweet dreams.

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

today, the day
today has been a day just like any other day. my moodiness is lifting, and i put my hair in low pigtails (pocahantas style as some would say, although i cringe when people say, "hey pocahantas!"). my goal for today was to finish, "thus spoke zarathustra" before class, but i did not because i found myself in the darkroom for a couple of hours. but i only have about 40 pages left.

i also went to the health center and they gave me hydrocoritsone cream for that rash on my leg (nishi, you were right about that and the eucerin, but no gauze or bandages!). i have also come to the conclusion that it is imperative that i see my dentist right away. tomorrow is the day i call them and say, "hey! lookie here! i think i have some kind of quasi-emergency on my hands. when can i come in and have this taken care of??" while at the the health center, i asked for a list of dentists in the area. but, i want my dr. gandel and i am willing to drive 2 hours to see him... even for 2 appointments!

so, what do you think about that, world out there??? pretty boring stuff, my life, isn't it? are you intrigued or hooked yet?? hahaha!!! you must think i am mad. insane. i am just shocked at my coolcounters info for today - 113 hits. wtf?? it's because of all the s e c r e t c e n t r a l hits i have been getting. it's become a very sad thing because people are looking for this particular site but hit mine instead. and i wonder, what do they think of all of this trite that i write? now i have gotten myself in a bit of state. i was just reminded of a very sad thought that i had. man, the night is a hard time sometimes, isn't it? all alone, in your room, listening to your upstairs neighbor partying whilst you are reading nietzsche with half-closed eyes because you probably should just be in bed, sleeping and dreaming, and then hoping that when you wake up, you will remember a dream or 2 because your dream group will be getting together and you have had nothing for the past 2 weeks.

friends, i love you. each and every day. and i also love the dangley earrings that hang from my laptop monitor. if i had a digital camera, i would post this for all to see. because it is perfect... like everything is... siigh.

Monday, February 16, 2004

this morning, i woke up not to the buzzing of my alarm, but to the grind of a lawnmower outside of my window. confusedly, i thought to myself, "what kind of person mows the lawn early sunday morning???" when in fact it was neither sunday, nor that early (10:15ish). shit. i hate mondays. and so, i opened my eyes and remembered a snipet of a dream - i had the same haircut as virginia. like, pretty much exactly the same but more bangs. i think i dream of having short hair at least once a week. in each dream, however, i have a different haircut. but always short. never long like it is now.

i am so sleeeepy right now. i am tempted to go back to sleep now that the lawnmower is gone. i know that going back to bed is probably a bad idea. no, definitely a bad idea. i need to start my day and try and get some work done before i go to class. also, i am hungry, why would i go back to sleep while my tummy is growling? hmm, lemme snack on a couple of these wheat thins.... mmm... wheat thins.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

quality, not quantity
this can be said about many things. for one - kissing. it is quality, not quantity. so i didn't make out with 22 people. and, boy, am i thankful for it!! i was nominated for best kisser, which is quality, but alas, i didn't win. i'd like a recount, please. seriously. please.


anyway...i was just looking through my friends' blogs and am sad and disappointed by some of them. it looks like i have friends who have blogs but don't actually blog. and, because i am trying to have a quality blog myself, if you don't blog, you get cut!! sorry jeffery, russell, and emily, but it seems like you are no longer interested in blogworld.

speaking of quality - check out nishi's starbox. nishi, one of my all time favorite people in the world, has just posted up some pictures, as her father finally fixed the scanner. she has become a picture scanning fool, if you will. and the captions are priceless. absolutely priceless.

lastly - if you recall, a few days ago i posted a list of recent keyword searches that have hit my blog. do you recall this one??
"a website just called secret central which is only for girls which only has fun games and activities and that only involve dolls (Yahoo)"

well, seeing that i have titled my blog, "shhh, it's a secret" i have been getting mad hits for secret central dolls. do you know what they are????? because, now i do!! after all the secret central doll searches i've been getting, i decided it was high time that i figured out what the heck they are. and...they are....the cutest dolls ever! check out if you want more info. soooo adorable. and now i understand the searches. but, my guess for the yahoo one above is a mother who was looking for the secret central dolls and was trying to filter out porn. "which ONLY has fun games and activites" "only for GIRLS" hahaha. silly mommy.

winslow dance party...v-day 2004
the party was pretty hot. the music was kickin', thanks to eli and h-train and the miracle of technology and the invention of the ipod. however, at one point i picked up the ipod and the music stopped and everyone booed. OKAY, whatever, i put the ipod back. but then, i went to look through the ipod for music and messed it up and skipped the song and got booed again. eli got so mad, even tho gabe was like, "he's not mad, he's just from new york." whatever...he was mad.

tonight i wore jeffery's tiara which always makes me feel pretty good because it's a tiara for goodness sakes. i danced and made out a little, but got sad when i realized that the boys that i thought were cute are actually terrible dancers. why is that?? and after a while, i got a little sad and kept watching the door in hope that someone would come in and wow me, but it never happened. sometimes i feel like i am searching for something or someone. it's a feeling of longing, but i never know what it is that i am looking for. perhaps it was nishi's absence that made me sad. but, i have a feeling that even if she was there, in between dancing with her and slapping her ass, i would have still watched that door.

the party was eventually shut down and katherine went apeshit and let security have it. "This is a common's room!" she said. "We pay (such and such amount of money) to come here and we can't get together and listen to music and dance??" "I hate you!" "This is fucking ridiculous. You are being ridiculous!!" She had a point in a way but security was not budging on this and it was pretty obvious. it was cool that she fought for our rights and such. so the party was shut down but then moved to my house's commons room. at the last minute, when we left winslow, i recalled seeing an unopen can of beer in the winslow commons room. i had to go back inside and walk past security and grab it and it was successful, but bonnie, adam, and i left later than everyone else. as we approached dulaney, we could hear screaming and yelling - the sounds of partying - eminating from the the commons room. it was so loud that we heard it like 1/2 a mile away! we got there just in time to miss a resident's complaint. which subsequently drove one of russell's friends into a frenzy and in turn, made him karate kick a full length mirror in the hallway, shattering the mirror and causing a mini riot. security came again, but everything was explained and no worries.

this was valentine's day 2004. also, i am all about free love but i have been kissing a boy that has been leading on many girls, which is okay, but makes things awkward when you are dancing with the boy and you have another girl breathing down said boy's neck. he must feel pretty good that so many girls are interested in him. however, my patience is wearing thin with all of this, only because i am tired of feeling like i am doing something wrong when i am not. "playa" is not the right word for this guy. more like slutty multitasker.

Saturday, February 14, 2004

happy valentine's day....
today's the 14th!
Can y'all dig that?
Now when arrows don't penetrate, see
Cupid grabs the pistol (Uh, yeah, now, now lookie here!)
And he shoots straight for your heart
And he won't miss you!

thank you, andre.

anyway, today has been a bit unsuccessful. brunch was nice because we discussed the happenings of last night and the kissing and who made out with who, blah blah blah. what's crazy is that tonight may be even more raucous because of the winslow dance party and the nonstop kissing until midnight tonight. oh boy oh boy. after brunch, i went to the sculpture studio and attempted to get some work done but things were happening very slowly and not working out as planned, especially when the mig welder was giving out on me. i could say it was a waste of 2 hours, but really, it wasn't because i talked to another student doing an independent study and she mentioned her show and i was reminded that i was supposed to talk to her about getting in on her show and she seems to be very keen on the idea!! so, it looks like i will be able to have some space in the gallery after all! she wants me to put up photography since she is putting up paintings and clay pieces and evan will be putting his sculpture in, so.... everything works out! it is the same week as the student show so i think i will only submit sculpture to the student show and leave the photography for the corrin. not bad after all.

next on the agenda - nonstop nietzsche. well, at least until dinner. i'm hungry now, actually!!

oh crap, i keep forgetting, it's valentine's day!!!! OMG!! happy valentine's day!!

good morning all. it is now valentine's day, the day of love and remembering the people in your life that you care most about. adam and jen have just left my room and i was touched that they wanted to hang out a little bit more after one of the most raucous parties i have been to in a while. umm...lemme see. so some of my girlfriends came up with the bright idea that tonight should be a makeout night and not only a makeout night, but a full on makeout contest. categories consisted of number, best location, etc. but, the party was fun tho the cops came, which was okay because we were being pretty loud. i wasn't surprised. it was time for everyone to just give their lips a rest and go to sleep.

Friday, February 13, 2004

i am in the middle of getting ready for gabe's valentine's eve party. i hear virginia's glorious laugh and bonnie is now here. i just wanted to post these wonderful bjork lyrics to you. i was singing them in the car today. you see, my car radio is still out there somewhere being fixed so now instead of listening to my cds, i sing them in their near entirety. it's pretty awesome.

you'll be given love
you'll be taken care of
you'll be given love
you have to trust it

maybe not from the sources
you have poured yours
maybe not from the directions
you are staring at

trust your head around
it's all around you
all is full of love
all around you

all is full of love
you just aint receiving
all is full of love
your phone is off the hook
all is full of love
your doors are all shut
all is full of love!

all is full of love
all is full of love
all is full of love
all is full of love
all is full of love

tonight i saw tim's aptly named play, "the newport flower convention," which may be coming to a local playhouse near you because it is THAT damn good. i was so thoroughly impressed with his writing, and especially character development and understanding of human motivation and personality. the characters were so rich that you were immediately sucked in. the dialogue was full of humor and interesting banter. not to give anything away, but the structure of the play was extremely intriguing. i found the whole thing to be an inspiration to us all - that we can do anything with our god given talents, as long as we put our minds to it. tim - you amaze me.

it is late/early morning
my body is tired and my eyes are sleepy
bed is calling me!

1 day til v-day!

Thursday, February 12, 2004

i am a love dork
so, i am listening to depeche mode's ultra cd, been listening to it all morning, and i was just writing nishi an email about how i agree with her post on love and this song came on and i wanted to share it with you...

This is an insight
Into my life
This is a strange flight
I'm taking
My true will
Carries me along

This is a soul dance
Embracing me
This is the first chance
To put things right
Moving on
Guided by the light

And the spirit of love
Is rising within me
Talking to you now
Telling you clearly
The fire still burns

Wisdom of ages
Rush over me
Heighten my senses
Enlighten me
Lead me on

And the spirit of love
Is rising within me
Talking to you now
Telling you clearly
The fire still burns

I'm talking to you now
The fire still burns
Whatever you do now
You've got to give love
The world still turns

I'm talking to you now
Give love, you gotta give love
You gotta give love
you gotta give love (rinse and repeat)

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

hits from searches
i am always amazed by my coolcounters info, especially when i discover what searches hit my blog. for some time, i have wanted to post what people look for on the internet and then subsequently, hit my blog. here goes:

Top 20 Keywords cybercafe (Google)

%22Clementine oranges%22 pictures (Yahoo)

stereo mcs marijuana (Yahoo)

%22I am missing you%22 Biggie (Yahoo)

stereo mcs marijuana smoking (Yahoo)

%22Jean Madeline%22 %22philly%22 (Yahoo)

Where to buy body scrub ingrediants (MSN)

a website just called secret central which is only for girls which only has fun games and activities and that only involve dolls (Yahoo)

baltimore karoake (Yahoo)

bridget jone's dairy (Google)

girlfriends booty (Google)

it%27s a secret (Google)

it%27s a secret (Yahoo)

Jaime (Yahoo)

josh kanter %2Bblog (Google)

list of affirmations about plumbers (Google)

mango lasse how to make (Google)

mig welding for amateurs (Google)

ms pacman secrets course (Google)

philly %22pee soooo bad%22 (Google)

not listed here is my personal favorite, "secret sex in elkton." man, i should have posted the list a while ago because the last list was much more exciting. back then, a lot of people were looking up something like, "pee so badly" and "bladder hurt bad" and hit my blog. what makes a person search for things like that?? mmm, actually, i don't care. people, you keep on searchin' and i will keep posting. search engines are just plain old awesome. what is NOT awesome, is looking up "home incest movies" and getting Nishi's blog. now, that is just SICK.

i'm in the ctlt (computer lab for digital stuff) and i think someone just dropped a bit of a stink bomb! whew, boy! someone is stinking up the place and it is not me. oh gee whiz. speaking of cheez whiz, there was a big bowl of hot cheez whiz at the 100 nights reception which i can honestly, and without discretion, say - blowed!! it bit the big one. i don't know how many people were cramped in that house across the street, but it was enough to make everyone feel slightly uncomfortable, expecially because we all turned into vultures and scavangers over the food and tried to get creative with the food placement of the hors d'oeuvres on these tiny-ass little plates. the whole thing was on the ridiculous side, especially because we all were big suckas and wasted our meals when we could have been kings and queens and living it up in stimson. we were all fooled, especially after the big senior reception thing where the food was better and the alcohol was flowing. everyone expected there to be alcohol tonight and when one group of girls realized that there was none, the whole posse was like, "what, no alcohol? let's get out of here and go to fridays!!" others decided to just cut their losses and book it back to stimson. one might say that we "got served." i would have to agree with them.

in other news, i have spent 3 hours here at this computer working hard and diligently to make the best valentine's day cards ever. some of you may have an idea of what they are about, but please hush up and don't tell a soul because i want it to be a big surprise. 3 hours here is a long time - especially because it is a bit of a waste of time, seeing that no real work is actually getting done. but, priorities, priorities - i must make the cards that'll make you smile. and, if there is anyone else out there that would like a card of their own, please send me your address and i will send one to you right away! i say, spread the love, gosh darn it, spread the frickin' love.

in 3 hours, 2 days until v-day.

beaucoup de bisoux - oxoxoxox

i'm sorry that my recent blog entries have been depressing and boring. it's just that winter funk, i think. and, things in my life haven't been particularly interesting or exciting and mostly, i am just feeling like a big f*ck up because i am not caught up on all of my school work, when in reality, i should be, and i think to myself, if i can't keep up with school work, what can i keep up with?

but, i am glad that people aren't getting turned off by all of this. and i am thankful for good friends and fellow bloggers like nishi (who sends me valentine's e-cards and e-games), virginia (who professed her love to me last night), helena (who has been carving out corners on my message board) and russell (who actually hasn't been blogging...but...).

also, a shout out to my girls - bonnie, sarah, and morgan who always seem to make breakfast, lunch, and dinner the best event ever.

and, so, this is what my blogging has come to - shout outs to the ones i love. which probably isn't such a terrible thing. in 3 days, v-day hits and what's wrong with starting early and letting people know that you love them and care about them? actuallly, what's wrong with doing it 365 days of the year!? absolutely nothing!! tonight, i will do work and begin my v-day cards. i am going to have a good night tonight and take care of business. ALSO, i need people to let me photograph them for my photo class. any takers??

love always,

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

what is wrong with me?
sometimes i feel like a big fake. i don't know what is going on in my life anymore. the time goes by so quickly and i am just so unsure of what i am accomplishing. is it anything of importance at all? i am sad and distressed. i want to do amazing things but then think, "what is the use, it will be destroyed anyway."

i am sad.

i am happy.

i love you.

i don't love you.

i am an emotional rollercoaster!!

wahhh, i am a baby!!

forget everything i just said, it was a big lie. i need to go shopping and buy myself some sugar for my tea and some candy for my throat. and pick up pictures. le fin.

Monday, February 09, 2004

i am sorry that i am in such a bad mood. i woke up feeling pretty sick and feeling as if i didn't get enough sleep and immediately was reminded that today is the day i need to get my shit together and finally give my french presentation and i just want to get it over with but i just don't feel prepared and it makes me sad because i want to do other work and not this.

i am sorry that i didn't get your calls, nishi. but i like the email that you sent me.

i think that is it.

5 more days until v-day. i would like a valentine. any takers?

Sunday, February 08, 2004

awful news
i just spoke to my mom and she informed me of something so despicable, so disgusting... i am at a loss for words. an 8 year old girl was found in a philadelphia library bathroom, beaten and unconscious, and appears to have been sexually assaulted. this is a library for goodness sakes, A LIBRARY. what the hell is happening in this world when you can't go to a library and feel safe and secure!? why are there men out there that would enter a bathroom and abuse and assault an 8 year old CHILD!?

i am just so disgusted....i guess what is so sick is that when i went to do a search to find the article, i hit other stories that are equally as bad.

just awful.

and with this, i need to go to some meetings tonight and afterwards, bang my head against the wall until i can get some work done. i was feeling so icky before because of various situations. but now, i guess it is official, i am in a bad mood.

last night was pretty awesome. nishi was able to come by and we went to the indian dance concert which was very nice and did a lil bit of indian dancing. fast forward, and the night consisted of our first irish car bombs which are outrageously insane. also, some dancing and lots of laughing and hanging out and telling one particular precious boy that he needed to do something about his dandruff.

unfortunately, nishi wasn't able to hang out tonight, much to my and all of my friends' disappointment ("where's nishi!?"). but aran did his thing downstairs and we danced to the hip and the hop and it was sweaty goodness fun. i did a bunch of my girlz' makeup and that was pretty nice. made eyes at someone and wanted to dance w/mr. handsome but i left to drink a beer and he was gone by the time i got back. c'est la vie.

coming back to my pad is sad because it looks like a tornado has swept through. i hate it. i am going to fix things up a bit and call it a night. much love - oxox

Friday, February 06, 2004

omg, i am so happy it is friday. i don't know why, since my week wasn't particularly difficult, i just want to have some days where i can be productive and ground myself a little bit. unfortunately, i have school work to do, so that grounding thing may be a little difficult. no matter, i am excited because nishi will be coming to goucher today. i am worried, however, that she will call me and tell me that she can't come. the weather is a bit yucky outside, so i understand. i hope i hope i hope that i get to see her.

i am in the library right now starting my incubation period for welding...trying to get ideas and such to begin working. it is getting a bit late and i need to shower, so i can't stay all that long. but i want to see what they have. i will just have to come tomorrow and continue all of this then. if anyone has any ideas, email me or tag them on the message board. boooya!

also, i am starting to get my voice back. this morning i spoke in this soft whisper. as much as i pushed my voice, nothing came out. it is such a strange thing when you lose your voice in this way, and i never actually believed it could happen. i thought people were just trying to be good to their throat or something or maybe even faking it a lil, but i have been having the most intense few days with respect to the way i have been sounding. people have said that i have sounded husky and sexy, but i felt it was far too gruff. in the beginning, i would sing along to pj harvey's to bring you my love and be able to hit those low low low notes. and then yesterday, it morphed into this weird hoarse squeaky voice. it was weird. so weird. and now, i am sounding a bit like myself again. wouldn't it be cool if i came out of all this with a whole other voice?!? man, remember when you used to talk like a a child and your voice was so squeaky and high. do you remember when it changed and all of the sudden things seemed different? geeez. what a weird thing puberty is. man. so weird.

the joke game
tonight, we played the joke game and these are the results. if you do not know what the joke game is, please refer back to this post, friday dec. 19.

these are the best ones from tonight:
a space alien and an astronaut decided to have a child...
so he goes, "that's why you call it Pancake House!"
(okay, the next one is better)

i shot a man in memphis...
but then the acid wore off & i realized it was my mom

one time this horse was totally winning the Preakness when...
everyone hit the wall and fell into a pit of lava and died.

and, finally -

a duck quacked loudly at sandy ungar and said...
"...and my nose bled ever since!! (insert laugh here)

Thursday, February 05, 2004

2 more blogs of note

photofriday: each week, photographers log on to this website to discover the "theme of the week" and submit photographs accordingly. the photography is amazing actually and i enjoy the idea of photographers being given assignments, in a way...a bit reminiscent of photo class and coming to critique and looking at all of the different interpretations of one idea.

also, check out baltimore roll!! some of the best pics of photofriday can be found there!

oh, snap!! did you know about a listing of photoblogs.

one of the pictures in the new exhibit

RĂ©gina Monfort. 2004

and now that i finally figured out the right way to insert pictures, here is the photo i took in ghana that i had trouble posting before

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

pirates booty
i just finished a small bag of girlfriends booty, makers of the infamous pirate's booty. unfortunately, girlfriends booty doesn't even compare to the awesomeness of pirate's booty. g/f booty tastes a bit like the noodles you get in chinese restaurants, but not quite as good. supposedly, g/f booty is made with sour cream, but i can't tell at all. my recommendation is to save your money, or at least go for the good stuff, being pirates booty.

in other news, i ran a bunch of errands today which was great because running errands makes me feel alive and real and vibrant. today was such a good run that i didn't mind getting stuck behind 2 people who took forever - one due to a having a bit of the crazies, the other due to being senile. i just smiled and appreciated the moment and took an extra few minutes to reflect on the virtue of patience.

also, i bought the most stylish looking phone. it is made by virgin, so we will see how this goes. but more importantly, it is not made by GE which i have had some bad history with for one phone i had died within the matter of a couple of months, the other in 2 years. nishi, nishi's bro, and christa have all had the same problem with GE phones. so, if you are in the market for a phone, my suggestion would be to get yourself a panasonic or at&t, unless you are like me and want a really stylish cool looking phone, then go for this virgin phone. i mean, even the buttons and the button tones are nice. sooo nice.

i had my first mango lasse of the semester. holy crap, those things are good!! speaking of good, i got to talk to nishi and finalized our plans for friday. also talked to tami and she will be coming here to hang out a couple of days at the end of the month.

on the downside, i went to best buy to get my car cd player fixed. when i brought it in and explained the problem, the very cute guy was like, "oh, just bring it up to the desk and they will probably just give you a new one and we can install that tonight." "omg, sweet!!", i thought to myself. but in the end, my model will be serviced and i will have to wait 2 to 3 weeks until i get it back. this will be the 2nd time and i know that within a few weeks, i will have the same problems because that is what happened last time. but, i have decided that if it breaks down again, i will not waste any time and i will bring it in again and again and again until they just give me a new radio because, dammit, this one is bust and it's just ridiculous insane.....

argh! yes, well. yes. time to read. damn, it's gotten so late. perhaps reading is out of the question........

street photography
today i wandered into the rosenberg gallery, where i work sometimes, to check out the photography (again). the exhibit up right now is made up of 2 artists, a Goucher Project, and a Baltimore after-school arts program "Moving Walls, Access Art, and Believers Are Dreamkeepers." anyway, i was enthralled by the "Moving Walls" photography, done by Darcy Padilla and Regina Monfort. Perhaps especially, Darcy's documentary style of photography which shows the impact of drug addiction and poverty. it is the life of a woman and her children and the struggles they face for food and shelter. they are extraordinary images, but also the commentary is interesting, for it is matter-of-fact but also packs a powerful punch.

this must end here because i have a phone date with tami in 10 min. tomorrow should be a breeze since i only have my dream group. and then it's "An Evening Of Bharatha Natyam" - classical indian dance and music!! awesome!

editor's note: whoa!! look who's out of it!! i posted as if tomorrow was friday and not thursday. looks like someone is ready for this week to be over! oi vey.

pet peeve
because russell hasn't been blogging lately, i will blog this one for him. he came up with another ingenious idea. to rename his pet hamster rubella. to what you ask? Peeve, of course, so that he can call her his "pet Peeve." ohohohoh, that's too much.

in other news, Virginia got a new haircut and it is super cute. hopefully she will post some pics up soon so that the rest of the world will see it.

i need to run to class. it is unfortunate that i am sick because i know that my body will be sitting in that classroom but my mind will be elsewhere, probably thinking about rest and relaxation and a time when i will be able to breath out of both nostrils and not depending on airflow via my mouth.

bisoux all...bisoux

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

sick as a dog

ruff ruff!
woke up this morning with no voice whatsoever and have had laringytis all day. i am such a baby when i get sick. but, even though i wasn't feeling well, i had a good day. made my first contact sheet using color negatives (whoa, color!!) and went to philosophy class for the first time and was just in awe at the difference between a philosophy class and all the other classes i have taken at goucher, especially psychology. more discussion, less lecturing. plus, everyone is very comfortable with each other and the teacher, john rose, is so chill and awesome that the class is actually a lot of fun with tons of intelligent banter. tomorrow i will drop off my add/drop slip to add welding and drop english and computer music (i am so sorry nishi, but it just isn't possible).

congratulations to helena!! she got accepted to her first choice grad school, univ. of glasgow. perhaps she will be able to find tom for me! in celebration of her victory, helena, russell, virginia, and katherine will be drinking 40s! good for them! i will be going to sleep early to try and make myself feel a bit better somehow.

also, the nicest thing that happened to me today was the realization that i am starting to see the world differently due to color photography and my attention to color and the effects of light and contrast and such. i feel like things look more vibrant than ever. i love it.

i'm in love
with these 2 blogs of note

1) belle du jour - confessions of a london call girl
- titilating and revealing entries about "the biz"

2) help me, bubby!
- i too had a "bubby," my father's mother. and although my own bubby was a bit on the mean side and complained a lot, this bubby is there to answer all of your questions and queries about life, love, and more.

Monday, February 02, 2004

i heart patrick
today, while i was explaining the wonders of my new ddf marine cleanser and trying to convince austin and jeffery that they needed to try it out themselves, patrick walked by and gave us a "what's up?"

patrick: what's up?
austin: nothing much. jaime's trying to get me try to some new facewash thing.
me: yes. patrick! you have to try my new ddf marine cleanser!
patrick: no! i don't believe in pyramid schemes!

oh that patrick.

in other news, i love how at one moment in my life i am into 3 boys. now, everything is falling apart like a stale lowfat blueberry muffin. man, funny how things work out.

good news!
1) i have hit 1,000 on my coolcounters!
2) i found a sarah michaels body scrub (not the body wash that i wanted, but...) and a body cream in milk & honey
3) i won my ebay bid for DDF's Marine Cleanser (only took me a half hour just to figure out how to pay with paypal). w/ shipping & handling i saved $6. was it worth it???
4) dominique, aka mickie, now has a blog!!

that's got to be it for now, i have pictures to take!!

Sunday, February 01, 2004

last night and more
i sure did go to the vigilant show!! marlowe was kick ass as usual. so many goucher people were there, it was unbelievable. brought sarah morse, morgan, and adam with me and then caught up with alexis, sarah walters, marilyn, erika, jordan, josh, and some others that i am forgetting.... somehow, though, we all got scammed and had to pay $7, even though the fliers said that it would be $5. i say it's bogus and the bands got greedy. mmm, i feel bad for not staying for soma solution since they were the headliners and were having a cd release. oh well, boo hoo. oh! and after bitching to rob's girlfriend about the price, she gave me a free drink ticket and that is how i paid for my 2nd glass of red wine. and speaking of alcohol, while russell, adam, and i were sitting in the lounge-y room, the girl across from us who was plopped in a chair, completely out of it, leaned over and puked up her dinner. she just stayed their passed out with her sick on the floor. i got her water and some napkins. i wanted to do more for her but she said that her friends would be coming soon. my heart went out to her. a terrible situation.

after dropping morgan, sarah, and peter off, i found a special surprise in my room. mr. russell hite sitting in the big green chair that he gave me, surfing the web and waiting for my arrival. we talked for a while and i realized once again, how amazing and beautiful and wonderful this boy is. then i drove home even though i was really sleepy. i need to stop doing that.

today, i went to the barnes museum in philadelphia and it was absolutely mindblowing. i was only there for about an hour and a half. i would like to go back. the collection is mainly impressionist paintings and i have strayed away from impressionism as i have gotten older, but it was delightful to see some of my childhood favorites like renoir and monet. PLUS, there is also a fantastic collection of african masks which blends beautifully with picasso, matisse, and modigliani. i highly recommend going and although the collection has become public, you still need reservations. also, try and get a tour, or at the very least, pick up the audio. there are a lot of things that you may miss out on. and do it now! the museum is in jeopardy of being relocated which may actually mean the end of the barnes museum as we know it!! but, besides all of this, i just wanted to say that after looking at all of the impressionistic paintings of beautiful, voluptuous women, i was reminded again how cool curves are. so i am going to appreciaite my hips and belly and although a few days ago i blogged about trying to shed some pounds, i am not going to drive myself crazy over it....

home again
back home and i am sleepy but i wanted to blog about the HUGE harvest (perhaps?) moon i saw tonight. HUGE, i say! big, beautiful, bold orange moon. i didn't see it until i exited I-95 and was in my neighborhood. and BAM, there it was - so gigantic that you couldn't miss it. like a sign for a new megastore. except it was low. i tried to catch glimpses of it as i drove but it was difficult because buildings got in the way. and then after a couple of miles, it was gone...

miko is here with me. he is looking at me, laying smack dab in front of me, in front of the monitor. i think he is purring. he wants to go to sleep. so, i should go to sleep. cuddley time!!!