okay, so this is how it is-

i want to convey to you, dear reader, the happenings of my life this past week. but, it has been so jam-packed with stuff, that i don't even know what to tell you. this much i know, i got into the worst fight with my mother a week ago yesterday. it was just dreadful. wednesday, i began working with the most wonderful artist lady at 8am, when i picked her up from her home in lakewood, nj. i drove her around maryland and virginia to different art galleries. those 3 days were interesting/boring, that i could write a book. i dropped her off at 11:30pm on friday, drove back to philly, slept for 3 hours and drove to my job in maryland and worked all day saturday. in my delerium, i attended latinofest with helena and met up with some peeps which was fun, until i crashed for a lil with a cat but then found myself in a bar in federal hill with t. paul powell for one of the most memorable nights of my life. what is it about that guy?? geeeez. he gets you...right....here...you know...in the heart... i love that guy. anyway... then worked and had a day off where i rearranged my room, which was kind of insane of me...but, umm...whatever and then drove to philly to help out mom with the moving out. we are nearly done.

but, let me move away from this. tomorrow, the roots album comes out. i have enjoyed listening to pj and sonic youth, but i am hoping that the roots will really kick in my summer groove. the postal service as well as loretta lynn has been quite fun, indeed, but, i needs me some philly-style beats.

and, just because i don't blog often, doesn't mean that i don't want to. it means that i am unable to. hopefully, we will have internet access in the house soon.

i really miss you, internet.

i mean it, i really really miss you.

lots of love.

bisoux - j.

lollapalooza pulled the plug
this morning, i was informed that lollapalooza has been cancelled due to low ticket sales, which is utterly ridiculous. on one hand, i don't understand why ticket sales are so low when the line-up is so good. but adam says it is because of that very reason - the lineup is good so ticket sales are low (i.e. no audioslave or linkin park type of acts). i have seen many of the bands that were going to play (sonic youth, pj harvey, flaming lips, le tigre, etc.) and i was pretty excited to see them again at the same time, along with the pixies. but, i guess it wasn't meant to be. now i am $100 richer so i guess that's good, but this whole thing is just depressing. i need to lighten up about it. but, i guess i am sick of another good summer festival being cancelled...remember field day??

oh well.

what can you do?

space invaders
four days ago, i went to the hampden library with helena. this was the first time i had been there due to their strange hours. on three occassions, i have walked there and gotten to the door, only to realize that they were closed. such a silly thing, to not open until noon or be closed on mondays. but, thursday, i was much wiser and after i spent one quirky hour by myself on york rd. off of northern parkway, waiting for helena's viola lesson to finish, we ventured over to the library together.

there are, i believe, five computers in the library and they are set up in a circle around a concrete support beam. after some haggling with the librarian to get a library card, i was able to get on to a computer, which was actually not even working, but after a reboot, i was up and running. i was seated next to a kid, i would guess he was 17 or 18 and he was playing a very intense game of some kind, an interactive shoot 'em up that allowed for messaging because once in a while, i would hear his fierce finger-pecking as he sent messages that probably said things like, "oh, you want a piece of me?? take THAT!" i don't know, that is what i imagined. he was being much louder than he should be and would say things under his breath, or simply yell things to a young buddy of his who would come over to watch his progress. this young boy also helped me out when my computer was frozen. he was a bit of a know it all and i imagined that he and his older friend must come often. they both knew all about the library's set up, which way to swipe your library card to get a computer, but more importantly, they knew the librarians' names.

and so, after checking emails and blogs and websites, i began a very nice blog post of my own. i talked about the sweet hang out session russell, virginia and i had with adam r. and the party that followed that night. talked a bit about work and the house and things of that nature, and it was one of those blog entries you just feel good about all over. it was positive and upbeat and enjoyable. but, just as i was ready to hit "publish post" my time ran out and i quietly said to myself, "oh no! ohhhhh noooo!" and for some reason, that older boy sitting next to me got an immense amount of pleasure from my sad situation and laughed heartily at my predicament. and, of course, all i could do was laugh too, shrug my shoulders/brush them off. in the end, it was nice just typing it out.

after that, helena and i went to school 33 to check out allyn massey's installation. allyn was my sculpture teacher and i have never had the pleasure of seeing her work outside of goucher. also, helena and i had never been to school 33 so that was exciting for us as well. and, as it turned out, the exhibit was quite fantastic. allyn did not display sculptural work as expected, but instead had paintings up that were pretty amazing. bold, vivid colors, intense and emotional, her work was really unexpected. the pieces were hung up on top of painted black rubber sheets which must have something to do with her title, "darkness darkness." however, we couldn't stay long because i had to go to work. i plan on revisiting before the show is finished....

and that was four days ago. now, i am in philadelphia at my house, soon to be called "old house." i will be here tomorrow and then i leave on wednesday to pick up an artist and take her to maryland and then to northern virginia so that she can take care of business stuff. i am her driver, her chaffeur, and while i drove here, i realized that i didn't pack anything to wear that i would envision a driver wearing. not that it's a big deal, but i wish i had some nice outfit to wear and one of those chauffeur caps, perhaps. no, i am being ridiculous, and it is way more laid back than that, but it would be kind of fun, i think.

i must make a correction to last post and say that my david sedaris book was not lifted from the house as i had said. my paranoia got the best of me. it had actually fallen behind my bed. but, i finished it in one fell swoop because it was too good to put down. after each story i would say, "okay, that's it for tonight," but before i knew it, my eyes were already on the next story's opening line and, of course, i was hooked.

tomorrow, the movers come to take my mom's things to the furnished apartment she is renting while she waits for her new apartment to become available. and, tomorrow, we may look at it together, if she has forgiven me by then. we got into a big fight when i came home, the biggest i can recall, and i left the house in a huff to calm down. she had to leave to go to a dinner where she was the guest of honor, which is just strange to me. i tried to talk to her when she got back, but her words were still ice cold and it seemed like a good idea to keep my distance from her. but, i'd like to understand this guest of honor business a bit more.

well...this is going to be the end of one of the longest posts i have written in some time. i miss the internet so much. i wonder if it misses me...

if you haven't noticed...
my posts are few and far between. this is because i don't have internet access at home. i'd use the hampden library but they keep strange hours. i should go to jhu more, but it seems a bit of a pain sometimes. so, instead, i came to visit one of my favorite people, ms. jessica mcd. i was able to do all of my internet errands and drink cherry kool-aid and hang out with the jess-star. ahh, life is good.

i am reading wigfield right now in lieu of david sedaris's new book because it has been lifted from my house somehow. wigfield is pretty terrific in its own right and i am enjoying it immensely. but, in my heart, i wish i was reading david's book. wigfield is written by amy sedaris and company and the humor is similar, but way more absured, ridiculous, and over-the-top.

last night, i counted 24-26 cuts on my hands and fingers. a couple of days ago, i dropped a very large piece of glass and slit my wrist. it wasn't too deep and it's healing just fine, but it scared the shit out of me. working with glass and mirrors and blades all day is definitely hazardous, but i kind of like seeing all of these little cuts on my fingers and feeling my callous form on my pointer finger from using a blade all day long....

tonught, mike hirsch will be staying over. i am pretty excited about his arrival and hope that some partying will occur at some point tonight.

that's all she wrote, folks. i need to run a few errands for i am going to make a nice dinner tonight. hopefully, i haven't forgotten how to cook. it's been a while.

ciao for now.

the fastest post possible:

i am in the johns hopkins library with helena. our cell phones have been blowing up this joint and i feel like i am not geeky enough to be here. is that terrible to say? yeah, i guess it is.

this is the deal-
i've moved into the house and went crazy the first day with getting settled that i bought an enormous rounded (wing) couch that is white, gold, yellow, and lime green on a total whim because of the good deal that the salvation army offered. it took us 2 days to figure out how to place it in the living room due to its construction and such. a coffee table and large plant was purchased that day as well and russell and i spent something like 3 hours rearranging a room.

i have been a bit emotional lately...i think all of these changes are getting to me (end of school, loss of house, new house, living with people, new job)...ahh, yes, the job is pretty good. i feel awesome and powerful working with my hands all day. i cut glass and mirror and fit it into frames and build them up so that it all fits in nice and tight and package it and all the hardware for hanging. i have also acquired some other skills as well and will acquire more, hopefully.

it's time to head out, so until next time.....- oxox - j.

random thoughts
as i pulled into the supermarket parking lot the other day, i saw a man and a woman get out of their pseudo-cool american made convertible. i noticed that the driver, the man, had a beer in his hand. i watched him take his last swig of lager and then throw it in the trash. very kind of him to not pollute our blessed earth.

david sedaris's new book has come out this month.

i have already put my advanced copy order of sonic nurse and uh huh her in to towerrecords.com and was able to pay for it with one of my graduation gifts, thanks to marilyn and arnie.

in 4 hours and 12 minutes the movers will be here. i am too excited, nervous, scared, and caffeinated to fall asleep.

about an hour ago, i did an ad-aware scan and discovered something like 1067 bad files on this computer. what the hell, man?

i think i have snacked an average of once an hour due to all of my mixed up crazy emotions that i have been feeling today. not a good way to start the summer.

i found a note from an old friend that reminded me that she wasn't a terrible person after all and that i should have been a bit better to her. then i reminded myself, that she was crazy. what a shame.

just when i thought i had myself figured out, i go ahead and realize that i will probably lead a life full of self-sabotage in matters of love.

i have deleted my myspace account. there was something extra creepy about myspace that i couldn't put my finger on. the last straw was the top girls invite. that gave me the excuse i needed.

i wish i was watching a really good movie right now.

i wish someone would tag my board. it's been 2 weeks and some change since my birthday.

listening to kelis at 5am on a tuesday morning
the birds are achirping and i have just finished my cup of tea. yesterday was the grad party and i think i enjoyed it more as a last hurrah party for the house than a graduation party. my mom invited all of her friends and that was the best part of all because she doesn't see some of them enough. all i hope is that she wasn't too stressed out to appreciate it. seeing my own friends was equally as enjoyable, but made me sad when they had to go. i am now listening to the kelis song featuring andre 3000 and it reminds me that kelis was featured on his album as well. i guess that is how it works, "i'll be on yours, if you'll be on mine."

i am awake at this hour because i slept for most of the day and woke up at 2am. i had a bad migraine when i woke up this morning and was in pretty bad shape for a few hours, to put it lightly. while i was conscious for a bit, i was thinking to myself, "what will happen when i get like this with my new roommates?" i always want to be strong for them, but sometimes, i am not and i hate it. when i got sick at school, it was easy to hide because no one else was around....

anyway, in 24 hours, the movers will come and take my stuff. i am both excited and scared. i need to finish things up here and get everything ready to go. i look forward to going back to the house and unpacking and setting things up. and, to making the house look as beautiful as possible. and starting my new job. yes, definitely excited about my new job. ciao for now - oxox - j.