Twenty some odd days since last post

what good are you in life if you are not pretty, clever, interesting, or talented? these things seem to be on the top of everyone's lists these days. not to be down on myself, but i am certainly feeling none of the above. i am not terribly depressed over these things at the moment. i am a bit too tired to really feel that way right now, anyway. i guess i feel like i had a moment once when i was really tapping into some of these things, but not now. i dress like a slob when i go to work because i have long ago stopped caring. outside of work, well, i can't make excuses for that, but i ain't feeling what i'm shaking, if you know what i mean. i can't be too clever at work. cleverness can get you into trouble. though, i like to think that i have moments of cleverness outside of work, but that seems to have subsided as well. interesting? i've felt dull dull dull as of late. and any talent i once had has quandered away. though, i spent a lunch recently running to the photo store to get a battery for the camera that was given to me to replace my dear old charlie (stolen in august). i think i may name this new camera marty, in honor of my deceased cat miko (if you didn't know, in judaism, you name your child after a family member who has passed away...)

today, i talked to a coworker about art restoration and i realized how exciting that career would be. i think it might be something i should look into.

gym
so, i've been going to this really great gym that opened up not too long ago. it's really terrific and new, though the 2nd door in the women's bathroom has never had a lock and it can get rather crowded, but other than that it is perfect. the reason why i mention this is because i just came from there and had a very strange experience. a woman who must have taken a swim and a shower came right out in the open totally and completely naked. okay, whatever, that happens. but then she proceeded to go to her locker, put her bathing suit away, and i joke not, went to the bathroom naked (eww) and then went to the scale and weighed herself naked (eww eww) and then stood under the handrier for-like-ever and proceeded to dry her hair (and maybe body, i refused to look) while naked (eww eww eww). the last one skeeved me out the most because she had to sort of bend over and stuff and the drier is in a very prime location where a lot of people are going to go through. and this wasn't a young lady either. she was definitely in her 40s or 50s. i dunno. maybe i am just too sensitive to these things, but i was just totally shocked about this woman's inability to simply get dressed and take care of these things while clothed.

restless night
i woke up half a dozen times last night, so restless was i. i woke up twice, maybe three times, to the sounds of the mice scampering outside and then inside my house. first time - i pushed the cat off me to investigate. as we slowly crept to the kitchen, first just the patter of slippers and paws, then a pause as we enter the kitchen and listen to the squeak squeak squeak. there is nothing to do here, so we head to back to bed. second time i wake, i investigate again, but this time i am more interested in a mug of oj. approaching the kitchen, i see there's the cat, low to the ground, holding watch, taking care of everything.... good cat. i knew i got you for a reason.