just checking in
i'm still here.

you know how we roll.

all the news that's fit to print
let me recount my day on wednesday, just for kicks. i got to work and found myself utterly alone. the director was at a meeting, the asst. director was coming in the afternoon and the exhibitions coordinator had a family emergency. being alone didn't faze me really, until about an hour later when busloads of ceramicists from the big national ceramic convention happening in baltimore came bursting through the doors. there was approximately a hundred or so, in the galleries. normally, we are lucky to have a handful a day. we're a big space, so it's not a big deal, but i was overwhelmed for a moment because i didn't know what was expected of me. tho i didn't have too long to worry about it because my appointment came in an hour later, so i was able to just get on with work and forget about all of the people in the building.

during her interview, a disabled man came in a wheelchair hoping to use our lift. not even knowing that we had a lift, i searched high and low for the key, found it, then tried miserably to get the darn thing to work. it was very sad. it didn't work at all. we found out later it was all because of a low battery. the thing works great now. we even used it today. but, the man was a bit upset, as he should be, given that we consider ourself wheelchair accessible.

at some point, i go to lunch...get lost in glen burnie looking for the walmart, but that's not very interesting...as i leave the building there's a hoard of people outside waiting for the buses to come back and get em. i take a nice long lunch. (the rest of the office how now arrived to relieve me) when i come back, the ceramicists are still here. they had been waiting for over an hour. it was terrible. i felt for them. some of them wanted to take public transportation, others got in cabs. the majority waited it out. and so, we had a bit of a mob on our hands by the afternoon..... which didn't get any better when the building down the street from us collapsed. yep, a building collapsed, people. the police and fire departments blocked off the street making it nearly impossible for cabbies or buses to get by. and so, the crowd waited some more. poor guys.

but, all is not lost for the ceramicists. the group show's artist reception was that evening. they brought loads of goodies and wine. so, everyone who stayed got to partake in the festivities. and walk out with blushed cheeks. i recall a man kicking his wine cup around in the hallway. he must have been 55 or so. yes, he was tipsy. as many people were. it was fine since they were going to get picked up anyway. i left around 6pm to run over to goucher's reception. supposedly, people stayed late and had a grand time. good for them.

in more recent news, i saw mayor o'malley play his last show last night. i must say, he's mindboggling handsome... i mean, the whole good-looking thing + the being a mayor thing + the actually being a good mayor thing + the music thing = o'malley for president. it wouldn't be hard really. at least, that's what i think. i don't know much about these things.

anyway, time to run....ciao.....

tuff week
man. i'm sleepy. i'm at work though i should have left 40 minutes ago. i have a plan today. i am going to work in the darkroom for a while and get some prints done for maryland art place's out of order.

i finally got to see oxes the other night. it was good to see what all the fuss was about. sure, they're good musicians and all of that and the music is pretty awesome and stuff. but i left thinking, why doesn't everyone have wireless guitars?? it seems like so much more fun. the freedom and all. anyway, i had to leave early because i was so sleepy and needed get up early the next day for work. man, i am still sleepy. i swear, i feel like no amount of sleep will ever cure me of the tiredness i feel everyday.

the other day i was dropping off the assistant director at the main office to run up and turn in some paper work (parking is too much of a mess sometimes for things like that) when the sight of 3 construction men caught my eye. they were coming out of the building, ending their day and saying goodbye to one another. 2 left and went in one direction, the third walked right in front of my car. he looked at me and i saw that he was my old friend keith whom i've lost touch with over a difference of opinion regarding the war (note to self: never tell anyone in the military that you've just come back from protesting a war that they're going to probably have to fight....) anyway, it was weird because here he was, right in front of me, looking at me, though i don't know if he recognized me through a car windshield, with my big incognito glasses on and my coat collar high on my neck. he had his hardhat on. it was strange. i wish i had gotten out and said hi. or honked. or waved. or smiled even. the sensation of the situation though was so strong and surreal, for some reason, i just couldn't do anything at all. so i didn't. sometimes, it's too much dealing with blasts from the pasts. sometimes it's better to just go forward with your life and never look back....

right?

all is quiet
it's monday morning. something about monday mornings. they feel so long and tedious. the office is technically closed on mondays. i have never worked a monday before. now i work them. actually, i work every day of the week now. ask me in a month if it is bad. i don't think it's bad when you actually want to be at the places you are at.

jessica lent me her rocky dvd collection last week. i was up to rocky 5 and i tried to watch it last night. is that the bad one? i couldn't remember if that is the one everyone makes fun of all the time. nonetheless, i couldn't get through the first 20 minutes. i turned it off and read a book instead.

internet radio is a wonderful thing. the station of the moment for me is da tempo lounge and da tempo jazz through msn's radio tuner - http://windowsmedia.com/radiotuner. the station is live from paris and they place your downtempo and bossa nova with a french flavor. i like it when the dj talks in english with his french accent. but, i like the music the best. i listen to it very softly at work.

speaking of which, i must go. ciao.

welll....
we don't have internet at the house. and, yes, i am in front of a computer all day long, but i just can't possibly blog during work because a) i'm too busy, and b) i would look bad. so, i am blogging now because everyone has gone, but usually my boss will try to kick me out because she doesn't want me to ever have comp time, which i honestly don't care about. she left earlier today for a meeting and everyone else left, so i am here alone. i will also probably never complain about my friends not blogging because i don't know when i would be able to read their blogs anyway. i was complain-y because i had the internet at the house and actually spent time on the computer, checking out everyone's stuff but seeing no updates.

long answer.

sorry.

umm, yeah.

so, today i was threading paper through the paper folding machine and my mind wandered to a guy i had met at a party nearly a year ago. a guy, not a boy, a man really. funny how some guys look like grownup boys and some guys look like men. i think it's the same for girls, really. some gals in their mid 2os still look like girls, while others look like ladies. anyway. i was thinking about how i met this very handsome man at this party and how he called me to wish me a happy birthday. how he visited me at school to check out my photo exhibit (which was unfortunately closed and met for a kind of awkward visit) and how i realized that he was no longer interested in me once he realized where i was at in my life (close to graduating but still in the thick of it all. more interested in hanging out with friends than anything else. no career in sight) he, on the other hand, was older. he taught science to inner city kids. he didn't go out much, not into drinking or dancing. but, as i look back at the person i was a little less than a year ago, i can see how things have changed. how i have changed. and, i wish i could bump into him and see if we would click. because i see myself moving in that direction, in a way. a settling down of some sort. but, even still, if we were to meet, somehow, i always manage to ruin things a little bit. i always manage to screw it up just enough. so, it probably would mean nothing in the end. i would push him away on some other level, i am sure. because that's what i always do.

i guess when the time is right, then it will be right.

le tigre was awesome last night. i wish you could have been there nishi. next year, right?